Saying it Aloud (from Chain Of Hearts 2012)

there are some things 

you need to say aloud

especially about changes

hard to believe changes

to yourself at first

quietly in the wakeful night

then more confidently to the mirror

so they seem real

the truth of them spreads 

from your mouth 

to your brain

changes:

unexpectedly joyous changes:

I am beautiful

--he says so

my daughter

--I have a daughter!

we’ll publish!

--I have a book!

incomprehensibly bad changes:

suicide

--he chose to die

she’s leaving

--this is no longer ‘home’

you have Cancer

--capital C, the big one

see it wasn’t so hard.

now say it naked

in front of the mirror

in front of your 14D

slightly pendulous 

but still quite beautiful

breasts

tell them:

you harbour death cells

which must be destroyed:

cut out, poisoned, burned

or I’ll die

say that aloud